La esquina Bohemia

Bienvenidos a mi esquina, mi cafetín virtual en donde son bienvenidos los desahogos, los disparates y los desatinos.

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Location: Los Angeles, CA, United States

Thursday, April 13, 2006

La maldición de ser la gran amiga

Muchos hombres se quejan de cómo muchas veces se enamoran de mujeres que sólo interesan una amistad casta con ellos, como si fueran los únicos a quienes les pasa. A mí me ha pasado ya, con molesta frecuencia, una versión de dicho fenómeno. He entablado amistades con hombres los cuales no se cansan de alabar la gran amistad que tenemos, la tremenda muchacha que soy, lo bien que la pasamos juntos PERO...hasta ahí. Si soy tan fabulosa ¿Entonces por qué no quieres que sea tu chica? Sé que contrario a las mujeres, a los hombres no les preocupa arruinar una amistad con una mujer por el sexo a menos que sea o muy problemático o la apariencia de la mujer sea repulsiva. Sí lo sé, en ese aspecto los hombres piensan la cosa de forma más simple y pragmática. Pero, coño los hombres que no son TAN BRUTOS deben tener una idea que las mujeres no tenemos sexo de la misma manera.

Aclaro que no soy de las que les molesta los polvos de una noche porque sí. Si el hombre me habla claro y yo quiero, me zumbo asumiendo las consecuencias sin chistar. Además soy de las que me precio de mantener buena amistad con antiguos novios y amantes. Pero amigo, si lo que quieres es eso en el fondo, ahórrame el tiempo y el disgusto.

Nunca olvido el simpático pero sincero diálogo entre Billy Crystal y Meg Ryan en "When Harry met Sally" en el cual declara la imposibilidad de la amistad entre los hombres y las mujeres porque la atracción sexual siempre es un estorbo. Sólo cuando el estorbo de la tensión sexual se supera, es cuando puede haber una amistad plena.
Me siento extrañada e incómoda por el tono "ranty" de esta entrada pero era una espinita que me tenía que sacar.

2 Comments:

Blogger None of your business said...

~sigh~ read my livejournal thoughts on what your just posted. http://hypno.livejournal.com/

5:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I guess when it comes to matters of the heart, sometimes timing is everything. The object of one's desire may not be ready for you at this time, maybe not ever, no matter how much one wishes or how hard one pushes. A love, or even a simple friendship, does not blossom on wishful thinking, just as one hand cannot a clap make. At this point one has to decide what the other person is worth to one's time and effort. How much are you willing to put on the line? Is he or she the one that you will wait for till the end of time, wistfully hoping for that one chance like in the movies? Is it time to move on? Or more likely is it something in-between? Admittedly that may be a very tough call particularly when one cannot extricate oneself from the emotional headspins surrounding the immediate circumstances and make a clear and objective decision. Undoubtedly some people will also take advantage of your emotional and physical availabilities that you are putting on the line. Those are the risks, but that's what makes it interesting and gut-wrenching at the same time. Part of the game. What are you willing to go through? And why?

Maybe he or she does only need a friend right now. Or maybe only just physical comfort, which is important also. As you wrote, nothing wrong with one-night stands or sex without strings so long as both sides are clear about their intents. So much the better. Yet while the concept in its pure form is perhaps fantastic, especially to the "simple-minded and pragmatic" male half of the human population, many times it's just not that simple, as Dave so eloquently laid out in his blog. Usually there are expectations, and then differences in those expectations. And if one makes it easy for the other person, it does increase the chance of one being taken for granted. Unfortunately, men do not automatically equate sex with an escalation in the relationship. To many, it's a bonus, a freebie, if available, and the more the better. And this goes the other way, too, as Dave points out. Not all men, though. Some, as strange as it may sound, actually do see sex as an emotional commitment, and if it's physical relief that's needed, it might be easier to just go out and buy it than go through the emotional entanglement.

A man and a woman can be friends, even with sex and all the other stuff thrown in. In fact, they must be, if they are to go on as a healthy couple. I too pine for someone I treasure dearly that I lost, and of it all, what I miss the most is that close friendship between two who care for each other that's totally different from that of best buddies and other forms of friendships.

Having said that, things sometimes do take interesting turns, so cheers for the latest turn of events. All the best!

10:37 AM  

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