Sobre un manifiesto...
a man and a woman can never be friends
Billy Crystal en "When Harry met Sally"
Este blog
me ha provocado pensar muchas cosas sobre las relaciones entre los hombres y mujeres. Estos son mis dos chavitos:
Your manifesto provoked me to think long and hard, so here is what I have to say. First and foremost, congratulations. A good love is hard to find and when you find it, it is a precious treasure. Second, a long distance relationship is a difficult challenge. I know about that since I had not one but TWO significant relationships as long-distance. Although your dedication to your relationship is commendable, isolating yourself from female friends/ former lovers is not the best idea. Unfortunately, you can not live in a bubble to avoid any female contact that can jeopardize your link with your girlfriend. For better or for worse, those previous experiences influenced the person you are today and you can still learn a lot from them about life, women as well as how can you make your actual relationship stronger. You do not have to brush ALL of them off. Besides, you are not making her any favors. Do you expect her to isolate from all male contact as well??
A strong relationship should be able to flourish in a real world full of temptations. A strong relationship is based on TRUST that despite the plethora of attractive women available, you still made the best choice, and SHE should feel the same. It sounds you do not trust yourself. There is some food for thought...
Can women and men be friends without the sexual tension ruining everything?? I think it is difficult, but possible as long as you are AWARE and HONEST to yourself and the other person about what you feel with your girlfriend as well as your other friends.
If you speak up honest and openly you do not have to appear as an asshole.
those are my two cents
My Manifesto to my Female Friends
In May 2005 I began dating Crystal. While the relationship was long distance, we saw each other every opportunity we could. Shortly after I began cutting my ties with the majority of my female friends – especially those who I have been my girlfriends, who I have dated even casually, or who obviously liked me or vice versa. It was my opinion that such friendships were harmful to my new serious relationship. While some brushed me off as an asshole, I wanted to concentrate on my new relationship.
In March 2006 Crystal and I had separated. As a single man, I found no reason not to re-forge these old friendships. When Crystal and I began dating again I had to decide whether or not to cut these friendships again or continue with them, just as friends. I opted for the later.
While these friendships have not lead to any promiscuous flings or actions on my behalf to leave my current relationship, I have come to the conclusion that their simple presence is quite disrespectful to Crystal. Especially when I had dated (even briefly) any of them at one time or another, or they obviously have shown some sort of attraction for me.
Thus, if I happen to not respond to your e-mail, messages, texts, or instant messages then chill. I’m simply trying to be respectful to my woman and concentrate on our relationship. I apologize if I have not always been clear as I need to with this. Our mere friendship has left doors open to negative things that I would like to avoid. Nobody must have any distaste towards Crystal, for has been a choice of mine. I have found my relationship with many of my female friends to be an obstacle in my ability to demonstrate my commitment and dedication to my current relationship.
Billy Crystal en "When Harry met Sally"
Este blog
me ha provocado pensar muchas cosas sobre las relaciones entre los hombres y mujeres. Estos son mis dos chavitos:
Your manifesto provoked me to think long and hard, so here is what I have to say. First and foremost, congratulations. A good love is hard to find and when you find it, it is a precious treasure. Second, a long distance relationship is a difficult challenge. I know about that since I had not one but TWO significant relationships as long-distance. Although your dedication to your relationship is commendable, isolating yourself from female friends/ former lovers is not the best idea. Unfortunately, you can not live in a bubble to avoid any female contact that can jeopardize your link with your girlfriend. For better or for worse, those previous experiences influenced the person you are today and you can still learn a lot from them about life, women as well as how can you make your actual relationship stronger. You do not have to brush ALL of them off. Besides, you are not making her any favors. Do you expect her to isolate from all male contact as well??
A strong relationship should be able to flourish in a real world full of temptations. A strong relationship is based on TRUST that despite the plethora of attractive women available, you still made the best choice, and SHE should feel the same. It sounds you do not trust yourself. There is some food for thought...
Can women and men be friends without the sexual tension ruining everything?? I think it is difficult, but possible as long as you are AWARE and HONEST to yourself and the other person about what you feel with your girlfriend as well as your other friends.
If you speak up honest and openly you do not have to appear as an asshole.
those are my two cents
My Manifesto to my Female Friends
In May 2005 I began dating Crystal. While the relationship was long distance, we saw each other every opportunity we could. Shortly after I began cutting my ties with the majority of my female friends – especially those who I have been my girlfriends, who I have dated even casually, or who obviously liked me or vice versa. It was my opinion that such friendships were harmful to my new serious relationship. While some brushed me off as an asshole, I wanted to concentrate on my new relationship.
In March 2006 Crystal and I had separated. As a single man, I found no reason not to re-forge these old friendships. When Crystal and I began dating again I had to decide whether or not to cut these friendships again or continue with them, just as friends. I opted for the later.
While these friendships have not lead to any promiscuous flings or actions on my behalf to leave my current relationship, I have come to the conclusion that their simple presence is quite disrespectful to Crystal. Especially when I had dated (even briefly) any of them at one time or another, or they obviously have shown some sort of attraction for me.
Thus, if I happen to not respond to your e-mail, messages, texts, or instant messages then chill. I’m simply trying to be respectful to my woman and concentrate on our relationship. I apologize if I have not always been clear as I need to with this. Our mere friendship has left doors open to negative things that I would like to avoid. Nobody must have any distaste towards Crystal, for has been a choice of mine. I have found my relationship with many of my female friends to be an obstacle in my ability to demonstrate my commitment and dedication to my current relationship.
posted by Bohemia6 | 6:33 PM
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Todos los extremos son malos.
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